The best thing a parent can give a child is a positive self-image.
A confident child grows into a calm, content, and capable adult โ and this confidence begins with you.
At The Benchmark, we believe that true confidence doesnโt come from comparisons or competition, but from faith, love, and self-worth rooted in the remembrance of Allah ๏ทป.
๐ Make Your Child Feel Valuable
Every child needs to know that they are loved, cared for, and valued.
Show affection freely โ with your words, your time, and your attention.
- Appreciate their efforts often.
- Offer gentle correction when needed โ but make sure they know it comes from care, not criticism.
- Reward good behavior with attention, and ignore undesirable acts when possible.
Your child will learn that doing good brings love, connection, and joy โ and that mistakes are opportunities to grow, not reasons for shame.
๐ฌ โThe greatest gift you can give your child is healthy self-esteem.โ
๐ Build Their Self-Worth Through Connection
Children who feel valued and trusted naturally develop confidence. You can strengthen this by:
- Spending quality time โ play, read, or simply listen.
- Encouraging their interests and abilities.
- Helping them discover who they truly are and who they want to become.
True happiness doesnโt come only from success โ it comes from inner trust, the belief that one can face challenges, losses, or failures and still find peace in Allahโs plan.
๐ธ Teach Self-Trust and Emotional Strength
When children learn to recognize and handle difficult emotions โ fear, anger, sadness โ they gain emotional balance and independence.
This emotional strength gives them freedom to explore the world with confidence, without being trapped by insecurities.
๐ How to Help Your Child Build Self-Esteem
Confidence in Islam is deeply tied to Imaan (faith). A child who knows Allah, trusts Him, and understands his purpose will never be easily shaken by the world.
๐ 1. Teach Tawakkul โ Trust in Allah
Help your child understand that Allah is the Provider.
They donโt need to envy others for what they have.
๐ 2. Teach the Reality of Life
โKullu Nafsin Zaikatul Mautโ โ Every soul shall taste death.
When your child understands that life is temporary, theyโll face challenges with calm acceptance and courage.
๐ 3. Teach Shukr โ Gratitude
A thankful child is a happy child.
When they learn to say Alhamdulillah for everything, they carry peace in their hearts.
๐ 4. Teach Sabr โ Patience
Patience helps children handle problems without complaints.
A sabir child knows that every hardship carries a lesson and every delay has wisdom behind it.
๐ What the Qurโan Teaches About Self-Worth
Surah Aal-e-Imran, Ayat 110
ูููุชูู ู ุฎูููุฑู ุฃูู ููุฉู ุฃูุฎูุฑูุฌูุชู ููููููุงุณู ุชูุฃูู ูุฑูููู ุจูุงููู ูุนูุฑูููู ููุชููููููููู ุนููู ุงููู ููููุฑู ููุชูุคูู ูููููู ุจูุงูููููู
โYou are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah.โ
When your child knows they belong to the best Ummah, their self-esteem rises โ not from arrogance, but from a sense of purpose and responsibility.
Surah Al-Kahf, Ayat 7
ุฅููููุง ุฌูุนูููููุง ู ูุง ุนูููู ุงููุฃูุฑูุถู ุฒููููุฉู ูููููุง ููููุจูููููููู ู ุฃููููููู ู ุฃูุญูุณููู ุนูู ูููุง
โIndeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed.โ
This ayah reminds us that life is a test.
When children understand that both success and failure are tests from Allah, they stop fearing failure โ and start learning from it.
Surah Luqman, Ayat 22
ููุฅูููู ุงูููููู ุนูุงููุจูุฉู ุงููุฃูู ููุฑู
โAnd to Allah will be the outcome of all matters.โ
Everything returns to Allah.
When your child believes this deeply, they gain inner peace โ because they know that every outcome is in His hands.
๐ฟ What the Prophet ๏ทบ Taught About Strength
Rasoolullah ๏ทบ said:
โAmazing is the state of a believer. When good fortune touches him, he is grateful to Allah; and when bad fortune touches him, he is patient โ and in both situations, it is good for him.โ
(Rawahu Muslim)
This beautiful hadith teaches that a believer always wins โ in gratitude or in patience.
Help your child understand that both joy and hardship bring rewards when faced with faith.
๐พ Teach Calmness in Challenges
Problems are a part of life โ but misery is optional.
Itโs not the problem that breaks us, but how we react to it.
Surah Al-Balad, Ayat 4
โWe have certainly created man into hardship.โ
Remind your child: hardship is natural, but Allah never burdens a soul beyond what it can bear.
And as a wise saying goes:
โIf your problem can be solved, donโt worry. And if it canโt be solved, worry will not solve it โ so why worry?โ
๐บ Be the Example
If your child doesnโt listen, ask yourself:
โAm I practicing what I preach?โ
Children learn by example. Be the leader you want your child to follow โ calm, kind, grateful, patient, and trusting in Allah.
๐ธ Final Reflection
Dear parents, our children are our greatest investment โ not only for this world but also for the Hereafter.
Their good deeds, faith, and confidence will continue to benefit us long after we leave this world, inshaโAllah.
May Allah help us raise children who are confident, kind, and content โ who know their worth through their connection to Him.
